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Before and after…

In the old days, I used to think about Van with a feeling very happy, joyful. Her image brought to me sanguineness, love the life and hope. Now, I still usually think about her, as a habit, but with another feeling: hurt, sad, hopeless and regret. I very regret because I made her sad, I made she cried. I'm very bad.
Reading 2! , reading feeling of love, I wish I had them too. And truth is I had them, but now, I have nothing.
I need live more actively, more studious. But almost I only but not do. WHY ?

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